Whole Healing Model

I believe there is something very wrong with our medical system. Although I work in behavioral/mental health rather than being a medical doctor, the systems are almost identical. The influence of managed care has had an effect on both systems, and while I am grateful both personally and professionally for the access to healthcare afforded by health insurance, I believe it is corrupting the effectiveness of care.

Did you know that if you expect your insurance to cover a medical or mental health service, you must have a diagnosable condition? Did you know that some managed care organizations then dictate the terms of treatment based on diagnosis? It is a disease/disorder based system. Generally speaking medical professionals don't ask what's going right in your world, they ask what's wrong. At an initial intake in my office I want to take the time to understand strengths and weaknesses, to be able to use a client's own skillset and personality traits to help lessen problematic symptoms and to increase positive interactions and feelings. When managed care is involved, I have less freedom to do this. I am required to find a diagnosis... A Problem.

But what if we're looking at this backwards. In the medical model we are becoming more and more aware that it makes sense to provide preventative treatment rather than to respond to crises of disease. It makes more sense to lower cholesterol through diet and exercise rather than providing services to someone suffering from resultant heart disease years later. Managed care is coming along but they still lag behind. I'm not sure most insurance plans would pay for ongoing nutritional counseling or exercise programs, even though both promote good health. Nor will most insurance companies cover alternative treatments like massage or acupuncture even though these types if treatments have proven to be helpful for many conditions and in reducing overall stress.

The behavioral health system faces the same dilemmas. Managed care will cover office visits, but there are no organizations if which I am aware that will cover ongoing counseling without a diagnosable disorder. Grief counseling, career counseling, ongoing therapeutic support are not options unless you have a diagnosable condition or choose to pay out of pocket.

I think we would be a healthier and happier society if we focused on prevention and wellness rather than crisis and illness in both the medical system and in mental health services. I don't want to be limited to symptoms and disorders when I could be joining clients on a journey to psychological wellness and growth. The only way this system changes is by the consumer demanding change. We pay the premiums for health insurance and we can continue to push the system in a healthier, more sustainable direction.  We need to be putting a premium on preventative services and ongoing relationships with Primary Care doctors and mental health professionals.  These relationships are the building blocks for healing the entire person, not just treating symptoms.

Awaken to your best self.

Easiest meditation routine ever

I often suggest to my patients that they try meditation.  Whether they're looking to reduce anxiety, improve situations in their lives, or understand things they're not currently understanding, meditation seems to be a good starting point.  Almost all of them have the same reaction when I suggest meditating...."Me?  No, I couldn't do that.  My mind won't slow down long enough for that."  To which I reply, "That's exactly why it's so important."

We have lost the ability to be alone with ourselves it seems.  We have become a society of action seekers.  We fill our lives with things, and people and places without taking the time to commune with nature, or our thoughts, or our selves.  And as we lose touch with these things, our anxiety and unease increase.  We search for meaning, but we're like hungry dogs after a bone.  We chase and force and fight to find something to hold onto.  But we're often left feeling let down....empty.

I suggest that we pause daily to reconnect with our deepest selves.  Then when we return to the hustle and bustle of our lives we'll bring calm, centered energy to the moment.

Meditation doesn't have to be anymore complicated then sitting/standing/walking in reflective silence.  Trying to allow our minds to empty of both the trivialities and major worries we encounter moment to moment.

So here's my recipe for the easiest meditation routine ever:

• Set a timer.  Begin with just two minutes and work your way upwards as the routine becomes more comfortable to you.
• Find a quiet spot.
• Sit comfortably. Or walk if that works.
• Close your eyes. Unless you're walking.
• Breath.
• Breath a little more deeply.
• Allow yourself to be focused on your breath.  Pay attention as you inhale.  Pay attention to the space between inhalation and exhalation.  Pay attention as you exhale.
• Feel yourself relaxing with each breath.
• If thoughts arise, allow them to pass, and come back to breathing.
• Keep focusing on your breath.
• Continue this until your timer goes off.

That's it.  That's all you have to do to begin meditating.  If you can breathe.....you can meditate.  There are many other techniques you can learn after you master this simple meditation routine.  And I promise, even if you can only manage to do this for two minutes every day, it will begin to provide you with a center.  A place from which you can respond to life's ups and downs.  You will begin to feel separate from the chaos, disorganization, and stress that surrounds you.  You will discover that you can find the calm within the storm in yourself in any moment. 

Try it this week....and let me know how it goes for you.

May you awaken to your best self.

Happy Turkey Day

Since I generally post my blog updates on Thursdays, it feels impossible to tackle any topic other than Thanksgiving.  So that's what I'll do.

Today I am thankful for family far and near.  For the easy, stable relationships that consistently fill me with joy and comfort.  And for the more troublesome, difficult ones that force me to come out of my comfort zone and really push my limits.  I learn a tremendous amount about myself through both.

I am thankful for friends.  For those with whom I've recently begun a piece of the journey.  For those whose paths have strayed from mine (or mine from theirs). And for those who have been there through it all.  I may not understand the character rotation, but I know it benefits me greatly.

I am thankful for this past year.  For the losses great and small that scarred my heart.  For the unfulfilled longings and hopes that continue to spur me on.  For the joyful days and the moments of pure bliss.  I honor the trials and tribulations right alongside the triumphs.  For both the good and the bad continue to build my character and strengthen my resolve to keep moving forward.

I am thankful for the work I do.  For the clients who bring me their burdens day in and day out with trust that I will help them on this journey.  For those who struggle to keep getting up, day after day, no matter what life throws at them.  And for those who yearn to understand more and more life lessons as they continue on their path.  For they all bring me something in return for our shared time together, and I grow a little every single day through their stories.

I am thankful for this day that both forces and allows us to look at all of the things in our lives for which we can be grateful.  There is nothing more uplifting than looking around to see all of the beauty in our lives.  Even in the pain there is a nugget of grace that allows us to keep moving forward, and for that I am eternally thankful.  The human spirit never gives in.  It moves us forward on our journey seeking greater understanding, stronger relationships, and compassion in our daily lives. 

May you awaken to your best self.

Things I'd tell my younger self......

I work with a lot of adolescents transitioning into adulthood.  I particularly enjoy working with young women on the cusp of going out into the world on their own.  I spend a lot of time telling them things that I wish someone had been willing or able to share with me at that age - understanding, of course, that I probably wouldn't have listened.  Perhaps these lessons gain their strength from the years of not knowing them, but I’d like to think that by sharing some of those hard-earned lessons maybe someone will get on their true path sooner than I did.

1.       Trust people, but think for yourself.

2.     Have a 3-, 5-, and 10-year plan, but be flexible and recalculate frequently.  Know where you want to be and what it might take to get there.  Don't just say it...imagine it, breath it in and know how you could get there.

3.       Save some money, even just $5 or $10 every pay. Just get in the habit of saving for yourself.

4.       Don’t be embarrassed to be smart.

5.       Don’t bother with people who aren’t bothering with themselves.

6.       Never be afraid to go somewhere new, but always have a way home.

7.       Surround yourself with interesting people – people who confuse you, people who challenge you, people who make you laugh, and people who intrigue you.

8.       Never underestimate the value of hard work, and never confuse the pay for the value.

9.       Don’t take everything that’s said to you as being about you; it isn’t.

10.   When being given advice, consider it as a plate of food – take the meat but leave the bones.

11.   Don’t fear your alone time; embrace it and make it internally productive.

12.   Don’t hold on to things just because they’re familiar or comfortable - this applies to t-shirts, furniture, boyfriends, living spaces, and beliefs.

13.   Surround yourself with people who disagree with you; they’ll help you truly develop a belief system.

14.   What you want isn’t always what you need, and what you need isn’t always pleasant.

15.  Understand that you can learn something new about yourself every single day.  Don't go to sleep without figuring out what you've learned.

Hello Autumn, I'm so surprised to see you again....

Change is in the air.  It's autumn, so where I live that means changing leaves, animals scurrying around readying themselves for winter, and up and down temperatures from day to day (sometimes minute to minute!).  I always feel that coming into fall feels like running full speed into a room where everyone is sitting around quietly reading.  It's a very disconcerting feeling.  I adjust to it over the months and right around the first snow I'm feeling comfortable with fall.  I wonder if that feeling has to do with my innate resistance to change.  The same resistance with which most of us struggle from time to time.

I would venture to guess that every single one of my clients has at some point or another come into my office and said "I hate change."  Some start out with that as their identified problem, and others get there more gradually.  Some are talking about minor changes or general themes, while others are trying to deal with major life events such as loss of a relative or friend, serious illness, financial loss, or job changes.  It almost doesn't matter what type of change is happening, we tend to deal with it pretty much the same. 

Change comes on like a wave....it feels as if it is crashing down on us...the change occurs, then everything seems different, we're often unsteady for a bit, then we start looking around to see what happened.  Initially, we may try to ignore the change, to keep on behaving as we did prior to the event occurring.  Then we often start actively fighting the change, often becoming angry at the change. We question the purpose of the change, or the need for the change, or the "rightness" of the change.  Anger gives way to fear and confusion.  We may lose confidence in our ability to accept or deal with the change effectively and begin to believe that we will not be able to function within the new world created by the change. Then we begin to feel sad, maybe even depressed.  Finally we hit the bottom - the crisis moment.  This is the critical juncture, because from this point we either give up completely and stay in denial about and in resistance to the change, or we transform in response to the change.  This doesn't occur quickly.  We're talking easily 6 to 12 months for life-altering changes like death of a loved one, divorce, moving, job change, etc.  It's a gradual, sometimes even painful process, but the rewards are well worth the investment of time, energy, and emotion. 

One of the most important aspects of this process is that we have full control over our reaction to the event.  Did you ever notice that we don't generally get worked up over change we've put in place ourselves? (At least not initially.) That's because we apply different meaning to the change and different thought processes to incorporating it into our lives.  When the initial change event happens we have the opportunity to veiw it from two divergent perspectives.  We can see change as something to be excited about (with appropriate anticipatory anxiety) or we can see it as something to fear.  We may even fall smack dab in the middle at numbness and not have a positive or negative emotional response.  By choosing excitement we create a willingness to accept the change and move forward into incorporating the change effectively into our lives.  If we choose to be fearful we will probably move towards denying or fighting the change which can lead to serious disharmony in our world. 

Regardless of the initial choice whether to welcome or fend off change, we may begin to feel uncertainty about the change at some point.  We may also feel an inability to deal with the change or overwhelmed with the change.  This is the transformational point where the big decision exists:  do we let go of old ideas of how this should be and accept the new way, or do we hold on to old belief systems which may keep us stuck.

If we choose the second option to hold on to our old beliefs about what should or shouldn't be happening, we will continue to feel negatively about the change.  We will also feel very much at the mercy of outside forces exerting change on our lives.  But if we choose the first option, to let go of our old way of thinking and accept the new reality, we will begin to transform.  We approach the new normal with a feeling of power as we recognize our inability to be victimized by circumstance.  If we let go of our old way of thinking we will open the door to accepting what is.  It is only at this point of acceptance that we can actually deal with the situation effectively.  We begin to really look at it in all its aspects and in this way we gain perspective that allows us to be a part of the change rather than feeling as if something is happening to us.  We cannot fight reality.  We can, however, choose whether or not to be positive about it.  We can choose to see it for what it is and make the best of it. 

Change in our life is much like the seasons of the year.  Nature ushers in change at it's own pace in a cyclical pattern.....from the emergence of life in the spring, through the warmth and growth of the summer, into the harvest and preparation of fall, into the sleep of winter. This process is purposeful and necessary. The leaves must fall so that new leaves can grow. The animals must gather food to ready for the cold winter. It is this regeneration cycle that allows for nature to flourish. Without fall there would be no spring.  The same happens in our lives, in big and small ways.  We must be attentive to and accepting of change in order to usher in new emotional growth in our lives. 

Patience

So I tried to time everything right…lunch at noon, laundry, feed fish, turn off lawn sprinkler, be at the post office at 1:00 when the lobby window opens.  Only the lobby window opens at 1:15.  Now what?!  No sense going back home – the dog will get all riled up.  I live in a town the size of a peapod so there’s not really anything close by to eat up time.  No sense going to the office – I’d have to come right back.  And as I complain about this to my friend, her text reply stops me cold in my frenzy to fill the time…”Write a blog entry about being patient.”  Good one.

How often do we run though our crazy days just wishing we had 15 minutes to do nothing?  I practically beg for it daily, but when my prayers are answered….I freak out.  I have no idea what to do with free time.  No idea.  So I spin in circles when I’m thwarted from rushing on to the next thing, and the next thing, and… yeah, you get it.  Life has too few of these moments lately.  So here’s how I’m spending my 15 minutes (now only seven left!).

I start by rolling down my car window a bit.  I’m always inside – inside the house, inside the office, inside my car between house and office – so the cool breeze is very fresh and calming.  I can hear it moving through the tree leaves and whipping up into a windy frenzy only to subside and fade away.  I can hear a dog barking – nonstop.  Poor little guy.  His people must be at work and he’s not good with alone time.  I see all of the locals in my small town doing their daily things.  Kids coming home from school (1:15?  Who knew!), volunteer fire department people washing the fire truck, elderly folks wandering about….slowly.  Patiently.  Truth be told, the post office lady arrived five minutes ago – but I’m still enjoying patiently sitting outside, listening, watching, and feeling life at a slower pace.

I didn't really know what I could write about patience, since I'm about the least patient person ever.  Yet, as it always does, the universe gave me the connection....from mindfulness to patience.  By becoming mindful of my environment, by stopping my mad rush and taking in the world around me in a non-judgmental and curious way......I found patience.

So here’s my suggestion to you…next time you unexpectedly have 15 minutes to kill, be mindful.  Listen to the sounds, look around at what you might be missing in your daily rush, and relax.  Breathe a little.  Take the extra time the universe has handed you and reconnect with yourself.  You may find yourself discovering a little patience too.

may you awaken to your best self

Tips for Parenting Your Teen (and maybe your toddler too!)

Have you ever thought about what your role as a parent is?  Have you considered how you can best prepare your child for adulthood through daily interactions in adolescence?  Do you often feel as if you’re putting out fires left and right, arguing every moment with your teen, and never really enjoying time with them? Beginning to consistently apply some of the tips below when appropriate may allow you to breathe a little and enjoy watching your child’s journey to adulthood.  

Never force your child to lie.  If you know they have/haven’t done something, don’t ask if they’ve done it.  Almost every teen will fail that test.

For example:   You discover that your child went to a party without permission.  Don’t ask “Did you go to a party this weekend?” Instead sit down with your child and say “I’m aware that you went to a party this weekend, and you were not given permission to go.  I want to be able to trust that you’ll be where you tell me you are so that I can give you more freedom and responsibility.”  This opens up a conversation about how your child can earn increased freedoms by consistently showing responsibility.

Get in the habit of requiring at least 24 hours to make a decision on pretty much anything (unless it truly is an emergent situation). 

This is a parenting technique that can be developed early on.  When your child asks if they can go somewhere begin by saying “Let me think about that for (insert a decent amount of time to really think about the pros and cons).”  If you start this early, your children will know that they need to plan ahead and schedule events through you.  This keeps you from being in the position of feeling like you’re running from one thing to another and never getting your tasks finished.

When being pressured for an answer always say, “If you need an answer right now, the answer is no.”  They’ll suddenly develop patience.

This puts the responsibility on them to ask in advance (see technique 2 above) and to give you the space you need to make a well thought out decision.

Have conversations with your child on a regular basis, but in short bursts. 

Don’t expect them to be able to take in an hour long dissertation on why they shouldn’t drink alcohol, do drugs, have sex, or anything else you’re worrying about.  Talk to them when the moment presents itself – during television shows, when they bring up situations at school, when older siblings are dealing with things.  These should be ongoing conversations that start long before adolescence and continue into adulthood. 

Try not to tell your child what you think, but rather make it a goal to discover what they’re thinking. 

Teens can think in the abstract, while younger children cannot.  Use this to your advantage.  Allow them to develop the ability to think through possibilities on their own rather than just expecting them to listen to what you want them to believe.  If you truly start to listen, you will generally start to hear all of the foundational information you've given to them and how they're learning to apply it to every day situations. 

Cool down. Be in control of yourself before you address issues with your child.

When you discover something that needs to be addressed make sure your child is in a safe place, but don’t begin the conversation about rules or consequences while you’re still in the initial angry emotional space.  They won’t hear you, and you won’t say what you really want and need to say.  Discipline is not about releasing or relieving your anger, it’s about teaching your child the lessons they need to lead safe, productive, and successful lives.

If your child has broken rules, pick one point to discuss at a time.

For example:  Consider the party example above, but let’s add to the story….. Your child told you they were sleeping at a close friend’s house, snuck out of that house, got into a car with an inexperienced driver, went to the party, drank alcohol at the party, and returned to the original friend’s house only to be caught by the friend’s parents.  That is a lot of ground to cover in one conversation.  Begin with the over-arching issue of trust, responsibility, and freedom.  Tell your child you’d like to discuss multiple aspects of the situation and pick one to start with.  Don’t spend hours talking about the multiple issues.  Pick one, make your point, listen to their response, and leave them to think about the discussion.  This is how a conscience continues to develop. 

Choose battles – don’t fight over everything.  This goes without saying – your teen has way more energy than you do for battles….if you try to argue everything, you’ll wear yourself out.

The most important task of adolescence is development of a stable identity.  Your child is trying to figure out who he or she is, and they begin that process by arguing with you about who you are.  They define themselves against what they know about you.  If you provide a safe environment in which they can do this and if you do not offer too many opportunities for them to argue inconsequential things – they will begin to form their own values and perspectives.  Prior to this you have been modeling behavior and telling them what your beliefs and values are – they won’t forget those lessons, but they may not be willing to let you know that they’ve learned them.  If you set the battleground around things like cleaning their room, getting perfect grades, following all directions – you will miss the opportunity for your child to develop their own set of beliefs and values.  They will waste all of their energy on fighting you rather than on developing their identity.

Give them some sense of control. Let them know they’re behavior dictates consequences.  This means giving them choices in situations where choices are appropriate.  It also means informing them about consequences of certain behaviors before they are in trouble for breaking rules, and alerting them to the fact that their choices will determine the consequences – positive or negative. 

For example:     Consider again our party example above…prior to the entire situation a conversation can be had about many of the problematic aspects involved:  lying, drinking alcohol, riding with inexperienced drivers, etc.  You can inform your child (multiple times, in multiple conversations) that if they lie (drink alcohol, ride with inexperienced drivers, etc.) you will have to enforce the consequence (whatever you’ve deemed appropriate).  Focus on the choices available to them – to lie or not to lie, to drink alcohol versus non-alcoholic drinks, etc.

Don’t take your child’s behavior or responses personally.

At the end of the day, remind yourself you’re doing the best job you can.  Whether this is your first child or seventh, you’ve never parented this child before at this age.  It’s a learning process for both of you.  Your child may lash out or act out in your presence because it’s a safe place to do so.  They probably aren’t meaning to make you feel as if you’re the most hated individual on the face of the earth.  Part of being a parent is being strong enough to withstand a few “I hate you”s  and a couple “You’re ruining my life!”s. Your child is preparing for adulthood and your job is to get him or her there – healthy, safe, and ready to become the best person they can be.  

may you awaken to your best self

Feeling Stuck

When we’re feeling stuck in our life or when we’re feeling as things just aren’t going our way, we tend to look outward to try to determine the cause of our discomfort.  This makes sense.  It’s how we’ve been taught to see the world.  We look out at it.  We apply meaning to what we see.  We react.  But what if this external focus is actually the cause of our feeling of being stuck?  What if we could add steps along the way to begin to look inward? 

It’s really just about changing perspective from the external to the internal, adding thought to the process, and responding rather than reacting to situations.  If we rely too much on external cues and perception, we begin to feel stuck.  We aren’t truly following our own path, but rather an external idea of what our path should be.  See why we get stuck?  We lose sight of our internal compass and lose confidence in (or awareness of) our own ability to make change happen.  By realizing when we’re stuck, pulling back from the initial impulse to blame others, and looking inward for answers we begin to move forward.

First Step – Figuring out when we’re stuck

None of this works if we can’t first figure out when we’re feeling stuck.  For each of us the feeling is different.  It may be that you become grouchy, irritable, and snap at others.  You may feel sad, lonely, or start isolating from others.  I always feel a “humming.” Just a general uneasiness that translates into my body feeling like it’s humming.  The best way to be aware of when you’re stuck is to know how you feel the rest of the time.  Pay attention to your moods day to day. Learn yourself all over again.  Check in now and then throughout the day to determine how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally.  If you make this a constant habit, you’ll be aware when changes occur.  You will learn to be attuned to your general state and when it begins to dip or ebb, you will notice.

Second Step – Refrain from blaming those around you

Sometimes you’ll get to this step before the first step  – or finding yourself at this step can let you know you’ve passed the first step.  Again, when we’re monitoring physical feelings, thoughts, and emotions throughout our days, we’ll notice when we begin to fall into the blaming others trap.  This is when you find yourself blaming your mood on someone else – “He made me so mad!”  - or when you are looking for someone to blame.  Now it’s time to redirect your energy inward.  Our feelings are not controlled by others.  Although we may have initial reactions to the behavior of others, we have the power and the ability to slow reactions down to a well thought out response.  We react to the behavior of others around us with various emotional responses (negative and positive), depending on our current mood, our thought process, previous interactions, and any number of other factors. It is a pattern of relying on the external blame game that causes us to feel stuck. The longer we choose to blame these reactions on others, the longer it will take to become unstuck.  Focusing our energy on them and their behavior does not promote becoming unstuck.  I recently caught myself being angry with a family member for an offhand comment made about me.  After spending minutes (ok, maybe hours) ranting and thinking about what that person had ‘done to me’, I realized I had just wasted a lot of time.  The comment was only a comment.  Yes, it naturally caused an emotional reaction.  But, I had the opportunity to reframe my reaction into a well thought out response.  This was where my control and power existed in the situation. My ranting and raving at this person’s comment produced nothing positive.  It was keeping me stuck.

Third Step – Look inward

Now that you have recognized your reaction, it is necessary to examine the root of the reaction.  Find some quiet time and space to start looking inside to determine what’s really causing the reaction.  Ask yourself what the emotion you’re feeling is trying to tell you.  What could you be missing by focusing blame on the other person?  What’s the real message deep inside that you’re avoiding by pointing the finger outward instead of focusing your awareness inward?  This is a time for examination with kindness towards yourself and not for self-blame or accusation.  When we genuinely sit down with curiosity about why we’re reacting to someone or something, the answer may not take long to emerge.  It helps to be open to what we are feeling without judgment – even if the feelings are uncomfortable.  When I thought about my reaction and accompanying feelings which were supposedly caused by a family member, I realized that those feelings were masking my own feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment.  I just hadn’t been ready to face these uncomfortable feelings yet.

Step 4 – Practice Responding, rather than reacting

A reaction is instantaneous – knee-jerk, reflexive – and it often escalates conflict rather than resolving it.  At the very least it serves to defer inner growth and awareness.  A response is thought out and helps to solve problems while reducing conflict. In this context, by following the steps listed above, a response allows for personal growth to occur in times of discomfort.  When we’ve gone inward to determine our own voice in the situation, we generally come back with a response rather than a reaction.  With practice, we can set aside the reactive feelings that aren’t appropriate to the situation and really listen to what’s going on around us in a way that builds communication and begins to move the situation forward. What I realized in my family disagreement was that I needed to work on my own negative feelings towards myself and not react to every offhanded comment.  Understanding my previous reaction could also help me choose an appropriate response – a response that was not simply based on an emotional reaction.       

When we follow these steps we find it possible to begin solving problems and moving forward while reducing feelings of being stuck.  By shifting responsibility for our feelings to ourselves, we also let go of the need to deal with the feelings of others.  We clear the stage for honest communication that lacks blame and negativity.  This is a way to move forward and find our way on our own path.         

May you awaken to your best self

Welcome to Talk Therapy

In general, when I’m doing something new, I feel a need to provide context for myself. I like to have a couple of things written down to remind myself what my goals are in doing the new thing.  I also like to be able to let others know why they should even care about my new thing.  So…..this blog is my new thing.  Time for some context….
 

Often in session with clients I come across great ideas.  They develop within session, but expand beyond our work in the room.  I then find myself revisiting these ideas with other clients.  It doesn’t take long before a theme emerges and I see that multiple clients across various demographics are struggling with and resolving the same issues.  I’d like to be able to share some of those ideas that emerge within sessions with people completely outside of my in-person practice. 

If you noticed, I said that I often “come across great ideas” rather than saying that I have great ideas.  Sometimes the ideas are fully mine, but many times they develop between me and a client as we process events in and perceptions of their life.  I would venture to guess that if I share these same developing ideas with as many people as possible, we’ll start a conversation that will evolve into even richer ideas and concepts.  I like the idea of continuing the conversations that begin in my office.  I think the diversity of opinions and experiences makes for a richer discussion of the topic.  I encourage you to comment and continue the conversations I will begin each week.

Additionally it helps me to be able to sit with myself to formulate ideas to share with clients.  I am constantly reading various sources and bringing together various concepts in order to create meaningful dialogue in session.  Blogging on a weekly basis will give me the opportunity to develop integrated thoughts on topics that span the field of psychology. I feel that everyone has something to add, and a blog might be just the way to encourage substantial meaningful conversation on various topics of interest.  All the while expanding my understanding and allowing for greater breadth of experience.

This blog will also allow potential clients to hear my voice, as it were, on their screen.  One of the most effective predictors of successful mental health counseling is the perceived fit between counselor and client.  Many people try counseling once and don’t feel connected to the counselor so they never come back.  I want people to be comfortable with me, my personality and way of interacting, even before they walk through the front door at Bodhi.  I want them to feel like there is a level of familiarity prior to opening themselves up in counseling.  I hope that by discussing a variety of topics while being true to my own voice and perspective, I will offer up a non-threatening and relatively easy way to begin the therapeutic process. 

In addition, once someone has “signed on” to work with me in therapy, there is a lot to be done between sessions.  Having a place that pulls all of that potential work together allows for continued therapeutic work between sessions.  I like the idea of therapy stretching out from my office into the world at large. 

My goal is to provide a lot of good information and resources on a variety of topics that seem to come up regularly in sessions.  The areas in which I plan to write include the following:

• Parenting tips and techniques
• Whole Person Wellness
• Addiction and its effect on families
•  General Psychology
• Women’s Issues
• Dealing with Stress, Anxiety, and Depression
• ADHD and other Executive Function disorders

My hope is to explore these topics in a different way than they are often presented providing for a different perspective.  I want to provide information and support that allows for greater understanding of how much power and control you actually have in your own life, regardless of the circumstances in which you find yourself.  I want to begin conversations on these topics and others in a way that allows for compassion and growth. 

I hope this is a good start, and I hope you choose to keep reading.  Expect to see something new at least once a week, and feel free to comment or continue the discussion whenever the mood strikes you.


 

May you awaken to your best self.