In-Between

Death takes what it will, but it leaves us waiting in the in-between. In between our old life and the new. Crying over memories long gone, while avoiding making new ones without the person we've lost. In between a life of carefree assurances that nothing bad will happen and an existential dread of the next loss.  In between who we hoped we could be and who we are.

In the immediate aftermath of loss we try to maintain what was. We accept condolences and well wishes and seek comfort where we find it. As time passes, well wishers disappear and we're left with a world that seems to be not so patiently tapping its foot waiting for us to get back to "normal."

Normal doesn't exist in the in-between.

What was normal feels distant and sepia-toned.
What will be normal hasn't yet arrived.

There are glimpses of the life to come, but they are cordoned off by hazy reflections of the life that's gone.

Moving from the in-between into the future is a choice. A choice that some never find the space to make. It requires a careful balancing of the known value of our past experience and the unknown potential of the life we have yet to live. It requires a letting go of the intense feelings of loss and accepting the deep continued grief that goes with loving and losing others.

Balance as long as you need to in the in-between. There are many of us here. Eventually something will tip the balance and a spark of hope will begin to burn.  When you've sat long enough in the space of the in-between you'll know it's time to stand up and walk on. Your future self patiently waits for you to begin to live again. 

It's ok. Take the time you need in the in-between.
It's where healing begins.